Ugly. Murderous. That's how I feel right now. Alone, lonely, bored, depressed and not productive. Something I can wrap my hands around, squeeze the life out of, then dispose with the aid of a meat cleaver and an un-backed-up shower drain.
Nothing has happened to make it like this, except that it's the way that I feel. So much time. Soooo much time. Every day it looks like this:
10-12 hours of sleep
5-8 hours of watching movies or documentaries
in there, somewhere, is breakfast, lunch, and work
Except tonight. Tonight I've included a copious quantity of alcohol. I drank some beers with my downstairs neighbor, then I came upstairs once the beer ran out and started drinking brave bulls--a lot of tequila over ice, with some Kahlua to flavor. Right now I feel like I could sweat pure flame. Ludacris is on, and I could happily abuse my little pain slave until the morning light.
Oh yes, I have a slave now. Not a sub, that politically-correct terminology that the SM crowd uses, but a bonifide slave. This girl is pretty willing for me to do whatever I want to her. She' s the type of girl that spends a lot of time cutting herself. She cuts herself then peels off the scabs so she has some sensation in life. When she comes over to my place, she pretty much puts herself at my mercy and goes home the next day with plenty of bruises to show for it. Sometimes they're on her ass, but often they're on her neck.
For those completely jaded about their sexual pursuits in life, I would strongly looking up waterbondage. It's the type of a thing where a girl is tied up and forced to various subjugations involving the use of water. It could be a strong hose right on the clit until they cum, cum, cum, or it could be a big tank where they're dunked until they cum, cum, cum. Either way, it looks like a lot of fun, and that's pretty much what my pain slave has in store for her when she comes to visit me next.
Actually, the next time she gets to spend all night worshipping my cock. She's going to learn how to suck dick until her jaw dislocates, and get a nice ass bruising to boot.
Speakin of ass, that's one thing that she's really going to need to get used to. I have a variety of buttplugs that she's going to be introduced to. No proper pain slave is going to escape anal.
Fuck. Horny as hell. Alone and drunk. Last night she called at least 10 times, but I left the phone downstairs, where I can't hear it. I didn't want to be bothered. I don't know why. If she came over, it would be fucking until 6:00 AM. Not like I wasn't up until then anyways, but I was just not feeling it last night. Tonight I'm feeling it, except that she isn't calling me. I sent her an email telling her to come over in a few days, but I wish she'd call. I need something to beat around, something malleable that isn't me. Something warm and fleshy and yelpy.
Right now I could put my fist through a fucking wall.
I've tried everything I can to get some decent sleep, but nothing works. Tonight I'm trying the "drunk thing" again, but it's sure to fail. A friend of mine hooked me up with a shitload of Somas. I took two a few nights ago, and it didn't even dent me. I have about an ounce of injectable morphine, but I hate syringes. Besides, morphine just messes me up too much. It sits in my system for weeks afterwards, and the night sweats are intolerable. It's like I fell asleep next to an open water main, and I'm utterly worthless for so long afterwards.
Nothing has happened to make it like this, except that it's the way that I feel. So much time. Soooo much time. Every day it looks like this:
10-12 hours of sleep
5-8 hours of watching movies or documentaries
in there, somewhere, is breakfast, lunch, and work
Except tonight. Tonight I've included a copious quantity of alcohol. I drank some beers with my downstairs neighbor, then I came upstairs once the beer ran out and started drinking brave bulls--a lot of tequila over ice, with some Kahlua to flavor. Right now I feel like I could sweat pure flame. Ludacris is on, and I could happily abuse my little pain slave until the morning light.
Oh yes, I have a slave now. Not a sub, that politically-correct terminology that the SM crowd uses, but a bonifide slave. This girl is pretty willing for me to do whatever I want to her. She' s the type of girl that spends a lot of time cutting herself. She cuts herself then peels off the scabs so she has some sensation in life. When she comes over to my place, she pretty much puts herself at my mercy and goes home the next day with plenty of bruises to show for it. Sometimes they're on her ass, but often they're on her neck.
For those completely jaded about their sexual pursuits in life, I would strongly looking up waterbondage. It's the type of a thing where a girl is tied up and forced to various subjugations involving the use of water. It could be a strong hose right on the clit until they cum, cum, cum, or it could be a big tank where they're dunked until they cum, cum, cum. Either way, it looks like a lot of fun, and that's pretty much what my pain slave has in store for her when she comes to visit me next.
Actually, the next time she gets to spend all night worshipping my cock. She's going to learn how to suck dick until her jaw dislocates, and get a nice ass bruising to boot.
Speakin of ass, that's one thing that she's really going to need to get used to. I have a variety of buttplugs that she's going to be introduced to. No proper pain slave is going to escape anal.
Fuck. Horny as hell. Alone and drunk. Last night she called at least 10 times, but I left the phone downstairs, where I can't hear it. I didn't want to be bothered. I don't know why. If she came over, it would be fucking until 6:00 AM. Not like I wasn't up until then anyways, but I was just not feeling it last night. Tonight I'm feeling it, except that she isn't calling me. I sent her an email telling her to come over in a few days, but I wish she'd call. I need something to beat around, something malleable that isn't me. Something warm and fleshy and yelpy.
Right now I could put my fist through a fucking wall.
I've tried everything I can to get some decent sleep, but nothing works. Tonight I'm trying the "drunk thing" again, but it's sure to fail. A friend of mine hooked me up with a shitload of Somas. I took two a few nights ago, and it didn't even dent me. I have about an ounce of injectable morphine, but I hate syringes. Besides, morphine just messes me up too much. It sits in my system for weeks afterwards, and the night sweats are intolerable. It's like I fell asleep next to an open water main, and I'm utterly worthless for so long afterwards.
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